“Mum how are you here? I watched you die.”
“They let me come back. They saw how badly you needed me and they gave me a second chance so I can help out with you and Hayley.”
I flung myself into my mums arms. She was here. She was really here. “I can’t wait to tell Nick.”
“You cant tell Nicholas or anybody. They will think your crazy. They will take Hayley away. You’ll never see her again.”
“But, your my mum. I want you. I need you!”
“You need Nicholas. We both know that you feel more than friendship for him. And I am sure he feels the same way about you.”
Just then Hayley started crying. I turned to pick her up and when I turned around mum was gone.
I fed and cuddled Hayley before putting her back in her crib. My mum was right. I did have feelings for Nicholas. But I couldn’t be a good girlfriend. I don’t want to be a girlfriend. I only want to be a mum to Hayley. And If I can do that right I’ll be happy.
My mum came and went a lot. I didn’t mind. Just seeing her was amazing. It was a shame that she couldn’t tell me any more about my brother or my life. Or who the older girl who used to play with me was. She said that when she died the first time all her memories were wiped…
A few weeks after Hayley was born I got my first letter from the doctors in almost a year. It came with a small doll. A doll like indigo in the hospital and like what my mother was before she came to life…
Congrats on the baby. We will not intrude unless it is necessary however we will always be in the background. When Hayley is older she will have the ability to go into doll form, an ability she gets from you. We are giving young Haley this doll. It is called Peanut and is here to be her friend. Never worry about your parenting abilities Hayley. You have more of your grandmother in you than you realise. We fully trust your abilities to raise Hayley well. If we didn’t we wouldn’t have allowed you to have her.
You are helping us evolve Erin, From the Doctors.
Besides from my mother issues Hayley grew quickly. Although she looked nothing like me.
On a beautiful day in august Nicholas, Taylor, Hayley and I had gone to the beach for a picnic.
“Hayley is growing fast.”
“I know, I can’t believe how big she has gotten!”
Taylor shouted over at us. “Daddy uppy down!”
Nicholas just laughed, “Your the one who’s upside down silly billy!” He looked at me,”Erin you haven’t had a break since Hayley was born. What would you say if I suggested that my sister mind the girls and we can go out tonight?”
I stood up and got Hayley out of the carseat, “I don’t know…”
“Just as friends? Come on Erin, You need a break.”
Looking at Hayley and Taylor playing together I smiled.
“Okay Nicholas I’ll go to dinner with you. But JUST as friends.”
The problem is, we aren’t JUST friends. I don’t know what we are but I don’t know what to do without Nicholas. I really like him but I wouldn’t be a good girlfriend. I guess I’m not like my grandma. She married young and stayed with David until the day she died. I don’t think I ever want to get married.