I actually did think about what Nick said, and we went on a few more dates. But I still wasn’t really ready to say we were dating. I mean sure I really liked him and technically we were Dating because I was going out on dates WITH him but I just couldn’t picture myself as his girlfriend.
Nicholas and I went out together for my 18th birthday. It was my first time in a nightclub and to be perfectly honest I wasn’t very keen on it.
Nick and I spent a lot of time together. Often we took the kids with us. I didn’t mind having the kids around us all the time. It was all part of being a parent.
Hayley’s first birthday came. And to be honest, I struggled to see any of me in her. Despite the fact the Doctors had told me that She was biologically mine.
Taylor’s 5th birthday came and went and with age the Asian genes she inherited from her mother became more evident. It didn’t take away from her beauty though, if anything it added to it. (From her birthday pics, Nick and I are sure she thinks she’s a model!)
Hayley and Taylor were incredibly close. It made me think of the child who I was close to when I was younger. I still just couldnt remember who it was.
After about 6 months I think I finally accepted that we were dating. And Nick and Taylor spent so much time at my house we figured that we might as well move in together. We practically lived together anyway!
I was quite excited to tell my mum about Nick and I moving in together. I mean it was a pretty big step for me!
“It doesn’t really matter Erin. You know it will end badly. Everything will end badly. It always does and it always will. Only now you have Hayley. She will probably prefer Nicholas, a good strong happy father to you. She will leave you along with Nicholas. Just like Everyone leaves you.”
“You didn’t leave me you came back.”
“I still left you Erin. And it was all your fault. Its your fault I am dead and, It is your fault your father is dead and it is your fault your only brother is dead. Deep down you know you will never be happy. Deep down we both know that.”
I ignored my mum after that. I didn’t want to believe her. I was happy and nobody was going to leave me. I hugged Hayley to my chest. She wasn’t going to leave me and I was going to have to make sure that Nick wouldn’t leave me either.